Leave it blank, I'll try to paint with colors.

Just came back from drinking session with my special one. We talked alot, and I'm glad that I can spoke to you heart to heart. In front of you, there's no where I can hide. You're right though. I should trust people around me especially the person that I treasure alot. I felt insane, because I did a mistake, I ruin something really meant to me and it won't come back to me again. I ruined it by myself, so there's no one I can blame. Thus, everything changed by me. I hate myself,why must I did that just to pretend I'm not the one? I actually care about it so much but I'm acting like I can just move on without that kind of feelings. And I already tired of moving on,standing up and to be strong. I chose to stay here. Trying my best to change the plot in the drama.Hope I can do so. I wonder if the person get to read this or not, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope I can change, will the friendship still remain the same? can we get back to last time where the best moment I ever had? I got a feeling that you tried asking me to move on, or gave up? But, I chose to stay, sorry....I wanna stay here for you.so sorry...In the mean time,just this second,minute and hour, I wanna stay.
I know it's not easy to walk through this,I'm pushing myself to hell,but I have no regrets. I won't force myself to do something that hurts me even more, or perhaps, I'm just too tired to move on.So? my life still goes on like this. Thanks to the people around me.At least you guys will full fill my day with lots of fun and joke,to letting me stay alive =) seriously enjoying my college life to the max with no doubt.

CCTv, enjoyed beer-ing session with you. =p Lets drink again.....?

p/s: Sorry Chris, I'm rude today.forgive me.ok? XD