He's the reason for the tears drops on my guitar

Mad, that's what I'm gonna be. Someone told me, I can find the reason soon but I want it now.
I got no idea why every time I met you I have to behave like a mad lady, irritating and act like so not me.sigh. I though I can get over and yet, it always fail fail fail...failed! I'm sad, because I saw a gap between us. In another hand, this is what I want, I wanna stay as far as I can, perhaps, this gap is like a thick wall which I built it to protect myself,to avoid me from dropping into a hole where there's too deep to see the ground.
我每天都在期待着一个没有期望的奇迹，还傻到，以为不放弃，就可以走进你的世界里。太天真了，真的太天真。。。可是，为什么我到现在还是站在原地呢？为什么在你面前，我就不可以做回以前的我？
算了，只要你现在过得很好，那就好。虽然，不知道你在想什么。
我会每天都祈祷你有钱用。酱，你就不用伤心。=）

累

部落格的用途就是。。。当你不想对别人说出你的心情时，就只好一个人坐在一个很不显眼的角落，对着电脑一个字一个字地把你那说不出口的“无奈”打在部落格 里。不管谁在读着我的心情，是朋友，还是过客。。。今天的心情真的很不好。在朋友的眼里，也许，我是一个天天都在搞笑的傻婆，有时候他们说我很情绪化。 对，我就是想我身边的人笑。每当看见你们的笑容，我的心情也会不知不觉地好了起来。也许，有了你们在身边让我不会再感到寂寞。

有的时候， 我真的很难掩饰自己的心情，就把自己的情绪都表露在脸上了。我承认，我错了，现在的我，很痛苦。而我终于明白别人的心情有时你是会看不见的，也没有办法去 用一把尺来量量到底他们跌得有多深。当你看到别人在伤心，自己就会在想“他真的有那么夸张吗？为了一件小小的事都会哭到酱”。我真的是大错特错，别人的 痛，你又知多少？也许，我不明白当事人的心情，也没去顾虑到别人，所以才会忽略了身边的人。可能是自己也有说不出口的事情吧。所以才会有同感。
绕了这么多圈，最终还是回到了原点。我试着很努力地让自己向前走，不回头看，也很努力地去逃避，到最后还是回到了“零”。所以，我选择站在原来的地方，因为我累了，真的很累。够失败了吧？我也觉得很奇怪，为什么自己会跌到那么深，甚至连自己也看不清楚。
今 天，心情真的跌到谷底。看到一件你送我的东西，突然觉得它很珍贵。因为我知道，以前的回忆都不能再回来`，所以会觉得特别地想去珍惜它。此时此刻，甚至以 后，我不想再见到你，等到那一天，我的脑袋清醒吧。到那了个时候，可能我们已经是很陌生了。而你还会是我曾经最喜欢的那一个。。。。

Leave it blank, I'll try to paint with colors.

Just came back from drinking session with my special one. We talked alot, and I'm glad that I can spoke to you heart to heart. In front of you, there's no where I can hide. You're right though. I should trust people around me especially the person that I treasure alot. I felt insane, because I did a mistake, I ruin something really meant to me and it won't come back to me again. I ruined it by myself, so there's no one I can blame. Thus, everything changed by me. I hate myself,why must I did that just to pretend I'm not the one? I actually care about it so much but I'm acting like I can just move on without that kind of feelings. And I already tired of moving on,standing up and to be strong. I chose to stay here. Trying my best to change the plot in the drama.Hope I can do so. I wonder if the person get to read this or not, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope I can change, will the friendship still remain the same? can we get back to last time where the best moment I ever had? I got a feeling that you tried asking me to move on, or gave up? But, I chose to stay, sorry....I wanna stay here for you.so sorry...In the mean time,just this second,minute and hour, I wanna stay.
I know it's not easy to walk through this,I'm pushing myself to hell,but I have no regrets. I won't force myself to do something that hurts me even more, or perhaps, I'm just too tired to move on.So? my life still goes on like this. Thanks to the people around me.At least you guys will full fill my day with lots of fun and joke,to letting me stay alive =) seriously enjoying my college life to the max with no doubt.

CCTv, enjoyed beer-ing session with you. =p Lets drink again.....?

p/s: Sorry Chris, I'm rude today.forgive me.ok? XD

The dumbest thing I ever did. I'm regret,I'm shame for what I did yesterday night. SHIT! what I've done?sigh.The minute I woke up, I duno how to face everyone. Yesterday is just like a nightmare to me.A horrible night.I cant find any reason to forgive myself.WTH? I'm so so so sorry.....But I know a SOrry is no cure for everything.sigh!! Seriously, I m da devil yesterday. Why must I stuck here again?? I tried so hard to control and yet,dumb things happen??shittttttt!!!

Day by day, am I moving?

A post about yesterday. =)

Yeap, went to the orphanage with my classmates yesterday for moral assignments. The trip was awesome. =) Cs picked me up in the very early morning...omg..I slept at 3am and he came at 7.30am...din really sleep well that night. So, we met the others at TBS, waiting for Marcell to arrived with his two pretty housemate.hahahaha...After everyone's there, we started our journey to Klang's bah kut teh..the famous food in Klang was super licious! our table can clear all the bah kut tehs man...haha...this included wei han, kee ang,me,sin ay,ken and edrei.hahahaha...so pro in eating. XD Then chris's table was da second followed by Grace's. =) After our full breakfast, the next was the orphanage home. ermmm....kinda nervous though. This was the 1st time I went to the orphanage and I think that was a great experience. Nice to get along with those kids except one.=-='' i forget his name..he made my tears dropping...pro in insulting ppl.haha....but i know he dint mean to do so? i guess??Oh...and pity Sin Ay, a kid broke her watch which was given by her dad..hrmm...nevermind la..forgive da kid. =) okay okay, so forget about it. We celebrated a boy's birthday called Thomas. He's so cute.hahaha...We bought them Domino pizza for their lunch and really hope they enjoy the food,games and the birthday cake.I enjoyed as well,but it's hard to handle kids actually.=-='' hahaha!
I guess I should thank god for completing my life with a warm family,seriously, no doubt. Thanks for giving me everything that I'm having now..and..I felt so sorry for them. They should deserve something better though...sigh. God will bless them =)

So, after saying goodbye with them, we headed back to Subang. Went to Midvalley with mom and bro after that. I enjoyed once again =p hahahaha...my shopping trip! XD bought some stuff and so on .Reach seremban ard 8 and back to my sweet home. Omg, I miss my bed alots!!...haha...that's all for yesterday. =)

Today is another different day. I wanna become the devil,may i?? XD


Pictures Of the week :

kee ang's son, Thomas. The son and the father =P

Diane, playing piano. Vivalavida =)

the game session. =D

Mr Chris, pro in playing piano.AnJing.lolx!

erkzzz?

I got no idea what wei han is trying to do with chris =p

On the day back from picking up pizza! =)

what Marcell doing?haha

what Cs doing with da kid uh?Lolx!

lolx....kids sticking to kee ang. XD

-The End-

Happenings =)

HelloOOOooooOOO!!

I'm posting now.wahahahaha...finally?? I'm lazy, seriously I am.LOLx...and busy with stuff? Yeah. My life's great,how about you? =) There are ups and downs,but I still can handle. =) proud nehhhh....wahahahaha!!

Nowadays are getting busier yet contented. ehhemmmm...should be more serious in this sem, play less and work more and more...ermmmm...but it seems to be the same for me..lolx...okay, I will be more serious now. I'm serious XD yes, I am...Sriously, my mind is blank now, don't know what to write and I don't feel like writting much...hahaha...So, I'll just up load some pics =D

Happenings + SS pics

edward's birthday =)

Cousin back from US =)

Obviously, I'm ss-ing.hahahahahaha!

Lastly, I love my life. No matter there are how many obstacle, just do it ! =)
PLUS, I don't like people commenting about what I'm doing i guess? I mean, I know excatly what I'm doing now, I got my life, what I did doesn't mean I putting down, so?
Mind your own business lorhhh....hahaha...I m not pointing on people, they should know =)
That's all from me =)

我不知道那种感觉是几时又再回到来我身边，但，却让我有种莫名地安全感，很开心，很满足，更有勇气地想继续地往前走。就算是个错误，也不后悔。

那天，去光百货公司的时候，看到一瓶指甲油，哈哈。。。给我买了咯。。不知道为什么，我就是买了那瓶，更好笑的是当我回到家的时候竟然发现我已经有了一瓶一摸一样的。
我好像在讲废话？也有点啦。。。哈哈

喜欢就是喜欢，无论再怎么地把它给遗忘，就算是时间把它给带走，忘记了，可是当你第一眼看见它的时候，你的心还是帮你做了选择，我到底想说些什么呢？我也不知道。。。很高兴能够再找回以前的回忆，很开心能够看到我们没有杂质的友情，谢谢你让我感觉到你的存在，真的很心满意足了。这些回忆一直都会放在我心里的某一个位置，很满足了=)

我的妈啊。。真的不知道自己在讲什么。。哈哈。。但是又很想把现在想到的东西写下来。。很珍惜“回忆”。