早晨

Good morning! I guess this sunny morning brings a good day for me. :D because according to what they said : 雨后总会出现温暖的太阳。 So, I believe this as well. This morning when I open my eyes and I saw a message from the Inbox, it's from my kakak. Thanks for making me warm and wipe away my tears once again, she loves me so much <3 . Thank you kakak. :D

Saw my emo post yesterday? Yes, since it was yesterday, so I plan to start all over again on this super fresh Monday. Focus, is all I need to do now for my finals, hoping not to disappoint my parents and make me proud of myself before I leave Malaysia. Then, my internship is my nextfreakingthing. It sounds that I am so unwilling to work right? NO! I am super duper excited to explore this KPMG and live for an OL life for two months. Hahaha! OL? Can't wait. :X

After all, I know I need to walk the future by my own with a very very very steady feet. Despite, it is not that easy, but I will still walk until the end even without you.

10.00 AM. Let's start everything with a :) Gonna pack things fast and back to Subang now. IDK why I just love to blog nowadays. 谢谢，这个避风港。:D

P/S: Thankyou Kakak <3

下雨了

今晚的心情就像今晚的天气。外面下着雨，而我突然想起了部落格。心里有种很复杂的心情。。。真的很复杂。。。所以，我又来到地这里。

有时，看得太远并不是说不好，但，你想得也多了。我看到的前面的路，但不知道该怎么走。心，也很乱。。。 我希望我前面的路，有你。很想很想有你在。。但是可以吗？我真的很努力地想走进你心里，能吗？

2 years 4 months and 24 days 2424 :D

Hello, coming back to my death blog. I have this blogging mood tonight and I don't know why :)

As time goes by, everything seems to run smoothly for me this year. I hope can achieve my goals and make my parent feel proud of me. I had an awesome birthday celebration for my 21st this year and happy to see and my friends and families attending my party on that night. I have a very memorable one. :D

Time flies, April is gonna say bye bye and here comes May, which means my final exams is coming soon and my study mode is so gonna be switch ON. Opsss..I thought is already on? hrmmm..I have been slacking this few days and also TODAY! WTF, PLEASE LARH KHOO XIAO ERN! CAN YOU BE MORE SERIOUS AND FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES? LOL! Okay, I should be more and more and super more serious from now. :D *Pray for me :X

Spotted the picture? It is taken on my birthday and I have to admit that I super <3 this picture. Thanks to the photographer of that night, CROSS X. I truly appreciate it cause I don't know when can I still take photo with the person who standing beside me. He is very special to me because I will miss him everyday. WHY ar? IDK. I think I will miss him also when I go to UK. Ohh..talking about this, just a little update to people who still reading my death blog or perhaps no one? Never mind, whatever it is, I am leaving to UWE this year to continue my last year for degree. Hrmmmm...kinda excited actually since I get to study overseas but at the same time, I'm kinda sad. It's like...sometimes, I will hope that time pass slowly so that I can spend more time with my family and friends, also sometimes, I will think some nonsense like...Can I ffk now? LOL! It's kinda impossible already cause the flight is already comfirm. So... keep telling myself, stop thinking this kind of nonsense and focus on my FINAL EXAM! Cause when I think of you, I hope I could stay longer though cause I don't wanna miss this friend so much. :D

It's 2.30 am nao..I should go to bed and continue studying tomorrow.

Have to promise myself no SLACKING this time D:

Sorry that I loved you

有时候，有些事情会因为一个人或一句话而改变。而我，就是一个最好的例子。

两年前，和一位很要好的朋友出来喝茶聊天，常常都会聊到感情上的问题。女生嘛。。。都是这样的啦。。谈心事时，总会露出感性的一面。

回想起那个时候，喜欢了一位男生，那位朋友就对我说，“不如你改变你自己吧，如何？, 至少你有为自己努力过。” 就是因为这句话，我的人生渐渐地改变了。那个时候，对我来说，减肥不是一件很容易的事，其实也让我鼓起很大的勇气，去面对这个挑战。节食，瘦身，运动，吃药，排毒，减肥餐。。。可以说，我每一样都试过。刚开始时，的确是很辛苦，得挨饿和控制自己的饮食习惯。身边的朋友都在鼓励着我，而他，是我最大的动力让我继续往前。还记得刚去瘦身的时候，真的让我叫得死去活来的，回到家，全身都疼痛。但当我看见他的时候，都觉得一切都是值得的。对我来说，我没有后悔做了这个决定，反而还觉得以前自卑的我，慢慢有了一丝丝的自信。

这样，就过了两年。在这两年里，发生了很多事情，但改变不了他的想法。。。我的心意也仍然没变过。

今年，即将要到英国去念书了，我知道我留在这里的时间也不长了。。。很想再一次的和他说出我的心意但不知道能改变些什么。

和他一起的日子里，真的很开心。虽然每一次都会吵吵架闹来闹去的，但也许这就是我们的沟通方式吧。。。

很多人都会问我为什么会喜欢他，而他又有什么好。我总是会说出一些口是心非的话，像是，“我真的很后悔喜欢他咯，他根本不值得我去爱，我要放弃了。。。。。”那些讲的烂借口。

但现在，我再也不想那样地自欺欺人，因为。。。我累了。

从喜欢上他的那一秒，那一刻，我并没有后悔过。。。虽然也会有不开兴的时候，但我并没有后悔爱上他。。

他值不值得我去爱？这个问题从我喜欢上他的那一刻起，已经不重要了。。。

因为但至少，我知道在他某个内心深处是值得我去爱。。。

今晚我不知道为什么我会逗留在部落格里，写着这篇东西，想回和你的点点滴滴。。。

心情真的很复杂。

对我自己说，不要再欺骗自己。勇敢地面对他。

Happie 2011!

Welcome 2011!

Hope this year will brings lots of joy and happiness to all of you. =D

Hrmmm...before I start my long long new year resolution,I would like to thanks to all of you that came into my life. Thanks for making my 2010 so happening. Although there's ups and downs, but I am glad that I have you guys all around. I appreciated those who loves me as you guys are simply too amazing to brighten up every single day of mine. If there's happiness, there are still obstacles that I had gone through in 2011. And of course the 2011 wouldn't be so perfect for me, but no matter what, I know this is a process of growing up. Perhaps, accepting is what I had learnt from last year. =D I couldn't really recall back what had happened last year but it doesn't matter anymore because we still need to step forward as time goes by.

gosh..it's almost 3am. okay, I will just update my new year resolution after I come back from my malacca trip with family tomorrow. weeeEEEEEEeeee!

nite guys!

p/s: nicole lim! here's my post. =p

累了

我又在想你了。

他妈的！有时候真的很气自己。为什么会这样？

过了这么久，原来我还徘徊在那段回忆里。有的时候，觉得自己就被这些回忆里包围着，好像永远都走不出来。是我自己在钻牛角尖吗？什么都做了，可是还是没办法走进你的世界里。

当你正在往前走时我还在后面等你，不管自己有多伤但一步都不想离开。哪怕有一天当你回头时再也找不到我。

心里真的很矛盾，也很多的疑问。

我的天啊！

我该怎么办？

梦，就算再美却只是个梦。无论如何，我也得醒过来。

祝你幸福。

拜。

lovelydoveymummydaddy! =D

Yuppieeeee!

Finally I'm here to do some updates.

Since I am having a so called independent-study-week, ehhemmm...kononnyer larh study.hahaha.But, I will still try to touch some of them. *ehhem xD Not some of them, is ALL of them larh lazy bum me!

I've been slacking these few days as I was thinking that I should rest more and more and more. wth, are you sure I deserve to rest for so many days?LOL..and finally, I should start my so called independent study now! ishhh...but,but, but horr...okay, I will still try my best X.x"

Went to the SS2 night market AGAIN(I went there every week and even my independent study week?omg) cause the bro wants me and da parents to fetch him back to PJ.BUDAK NI MANJA BETUL! ishhh..

Never mind, here brings me a good news..ermmm..actually is more than that!teheeeeeeee! I am super happie that my dad finally bought me a car. YAY! tho it's a used car, but...I'm so glad that you made an effort to find a nice nice car for me. FYI, I am so surprise that he actually find all those cars via the internet and newspapers, copied down every single details on the paper and bring us to many places just to find a good one for me. Thanks dad. =D

Another thing that made me touched of is the conversation in the car when I was driving them back to Seremban.

D: So, when are you going to graduate?

XE: 2012 I guess?

D: Are you going to England then?

* mummy shaking head

XE: ......

D: Are your friends going?

XE: yes yes yes! Many of my friends are going ;(

D: Okay, you better go with your friends then at least you all can take care of each other and finish your final year there.

M:No need to go larh, she can finish her course in Malaysia and why not study here?

XE: Can get a difference experiences mah... @.@"

D: Nevermind, she can goes as long as she wants to study then even if I pawn all my properties(hing kah dong chan?) I will also let her study. Don't worry =)

*touched! T.T

I was like....WTH!

I don't know what made me speechless at that moment, but those words melt my heart.

I was thinking how would I repay them in the future, but I think the only way is to make them proud of having this daughter =D

Thanks daddy and mummy, without them I am not who I am now. Thanks for giving me my 'dream'

loves.

=D